10 Reasons Why America Trumps China
July 4, 2006
Everyone knows that China sucks. However, no one really knows why. So, I’ve taken the liberty to provide you, my loyal readers, with 10 Reasons Why America Trumps China.
America Uses More Drugs. America is the world’s largest consumer of cocaine. China only dabbles in methamphetamines. Pansies.
America Chugs Oil. Little China’s 1.3 billion citizens only consume 6.3 million barrels/day while MIGHTY AMERICA’s 300 million citizens guzzle a whopping 20 million barrels/day. Sounds like China needs a boatload of Ford Excursions to help them catch up.
America Knows How to Blow Shit Up. China’s military spends a petty $81 billion a year. America’s Military spends a staggering $518 billion a year. Screw you, China! We’ve got priorities!
America Embraces the Big Baptist Way of Life. While America’s government is “unofficially Southern Baptist,” China’s heathen government is “officially atheist.” Have fun in Hell with Buddha, you Communist Scum!
America’s Got Black People. African-American’s are virtually non-existent in China. In contrast, Big Black America is 12% black.
America’s Got More Death. That’s right, America’s got 8 deaths/1000, while China has a measly 6 deaths/1000. Maybe if China had more black people they wouldn’t be lagging so far behind.
America Knows Democracy. We here in America get to voice our opinions and our government will actually listen to us. However, in China, the government is made up of a bunch of authoritative war-monger communists who only do what’s good for them and their friends – not the people.
America’s Got Bums. Even though the average household income in China is only $6,800 (America’s being $41,500), America still manages to have a larger percentage of citizens living below the poverty line. Yep, America’s got 12% of citizens living below the poverty line, while China’s only got 10%. China needs to start outsourcing if they ever dream of catching up.
America Knows How to Shop. When it comes to reckless spending, China is not even in the same league as America. While Little China has only accrued $240 billion in national debt, America has amassed over $8.8 trillion in national debt. What’s it like not to have things, China?
America Knows How to Buttfuck. America’s got 950,000 AIDS patients, while little China ONLY has 840,000. Looks like somebody needs a course in anal.
HAPPY 4th of JULY EVERYONE!
